Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Grandma's Little Helper

Most of you who are reading my musings have probably realized that I am technologically challenged. My lack of technical savvy extends to every and any thing that is more complex than an off/on switch. I don't even know how to change a battery. I have, however, managed to survive the onslaught of technology relatively unscathed. "Relatively" is the key word because my ignorance has caused a few embarrassing moments. One of which was brought to mind yesterday, when a like-minded friend sent me a video through e-mail.

I have never tried to answer my vibrator, but I did have to replace the batteries in my little stimulator – I obviously couldn't take the toy with me, hand it to the clerk and ask for a battery change like I do with my watch, so I removed the battery and took it to the store. The clerk was having difficulty finding the correct replacement and called over a second clerk. I was poised to run, knowing what was coming next (no pun intended!) - what was the battery used for? “Ma'am, is this battery out of a hearing aid?” “Oh yes," I said, "A hearing aid." I took the replacement and fled. Brought new meaning to the words “coming” and “going”.

F.Y.I. Hearing aid batteries work in vibrators.


  1. Good to know. Will ask for hearing aid batteries. I wonder if they'll look at me funny seeing as I don't have a hearing aid.

  2. I am still rolling with laughter. Great post. madly59

  3. A vibrator shouldn't turn on by accident - isn't that sort of the point of having one? It's only "on" when you want it on. You are hysterical, but I sure am glad my mother doesn't understand blogging.

  4. Would you be my mommy? I think I was meant to be your daughter instead of my mother's.

    Just think of the fun you and I could have torturing Catherine with sex toy talk...

  5. We have very different, um, stimulators ... is it a bad thing when mine takes 2 "C" batteries? I think it would laugh at the hearing aid size.

  6. Dear Bellamomma, I have one of those also. Those batteries weren't a problem - I just ask for flashlight batteries. It's the little ones that do the important work of foreplay - as we all know, bigger is not necessarily better.
    Judy a.k.a. bad grandma

  7. OH MY GOD, MOTHER. You have *two* vibrators?


  8. I think I may just need to send my mother a vibrator and get her to start blogging. I am not sure she would give me the address though. :D

  9. I'm with Redneckmommy, can I be your daughter? The three of us can have fun torturing Catherine together.

  10. I'm with HBM. TWO? I don't even want to know....

  11. my darling daughter, I guess you don't want to know about my red silk panties with little bells attached.Love Mom

  12. I think that this post absolutely proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are truly Catherine's mother. LOL I'm STILL chuckling! Great post. You're a very good writer. :)

  13. The apple does not fall far from the jingly-pantied tree, I suspect. I now have a new role model.

    (What exactly would be the point of the bells, exactly? Musical accompaniment? Easier to find in the dark?)

  14. This is the funniest thing have read in ages, go Bad Grandma. The comments from your daughter are hilarious too. Two, you have my respect Lady!!
    J from Ireland.

  15. Dear BabyBoomer - the bells add a nice touch as you shimmy around the pole. I have been called "tinkle toes".
    Bad Grandma

  16. I've never been more glad my mother doesn't blog. She does however keep this giant back/neck massager by the bed. It plugs into the wall and she leaves it out on the extra nightstand. My husband says "you know she doesn't use that on her neck & back" and I just plug my ears.

  17. I'm so glad I discovered your blog (your daughter tweeted about it). Can you be my grandma?

  18. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa! Great post!
    Extreme torture technic for the children in your life!
    I would never even broach this topic or any other for that matter relating to anything close to this with my mother! I'm just afraid it'd kill her!
    My mother's view of sex was "it's just another chore to perform".

  19. It always amazes me that the younger generation thinks they invented sex, and that everyone stops "doing it" after age 50. I'm almost 67, I have three vibrators. One of them is one of those fancy jackrabbits, my boss gave it to me for Christmas last year.

    Guys, you never change inside. The body goes to hell, but inside you stay a teen, and what felt good then feels even better now.

  20. My computer crashed just after the NY times article went up. So I just got a chance to read all of your entries. Then I went back and read some of the comments.

    As a 34 year old mother of 2 kids ages 2 and 12 years, I want to tell you something you probably already know. YOU ARE AWESOME. Just because you aren't a free on-call babysitter doesn't mean you don't have a fabulously healthy relationship with your children and grandchildren. NEVER change!!

    Oh, and for what it's worth, my mother has attended my sister's Pure Romance parties, and while she didn't buy any toys from my sister, she did by some flavored lube......

  21. Hahahahaha! I'm never going to suggest my mother start blogging, but I'm glad Catherine's does.

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