I haven't been able to write anything for almost a week. I have been emotionally spent. Yesterday I read my daughter's heartrending blog and my heart wept again - for the families of those precious little souls who were taken too soon, and for my family - for what is yet to come.
Every time I read or hear about the death of a child, or the pain and suffering of a child, or of a child who, because of a disease, will never experience the pride of graduating from school, the anticipation of a first date, the excitement of first love, the joy of marriage and children, the contentment of growing old surrounded by family, and dying in peace, I ask God why.
There are millions of people in this world who do not question God – I am not one of them.
I believe in God, in his only Son, in Mary and all the saints , but there are times when I am angry with God. My audacity scares me - but, there are things I can not accept unquestioningly, willingly or with thanks.
I cannot accept unquestioningly that God would give parents the precious gift of a child and then abruptly take His gift away.
I cannot accept it is God 's will that my beautiful, innocent grandson die slowly, piece by piece.
There have been many times during my life that I have felt His presence and been thankful for blessings received.
This is not one of those times.