Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bad Grandma Resolves! Or Not.

I have made all sorts of resolutions for 2011:

- Lose 20 pounds
- Exercise regularly
- Get my house organized
- Get my life organized
- Do not procrastinate

So far, I have done none of the above.

Dieting and exercise are two things that I absolutely abhor. I am trying to visualize myself twenty pounds lighter hoping that will motivate me but it’s not working – in fact, I now believe there is much beauty in an ample body. The other thing is that when a person is old and wrinkled - body fat fills out the wrinkles – that’s another plus! I have started exercising – I am doing leg-ups while lying on the couch watching tv and toe curls when I am on my computer.

Getting organized is entirely another matter. It seems I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to remember where I put something. It is not unusual to find an item that I thought was lost, or had forgotten I had. I recently found a pair of boots that I haven’t seen for three years, the lifetime warranty for my diamond rings, my strapless bra, and my grandmother’s cookbooks dating from the 1930s.

Grandma’s cookbooks were my big find – they contain much more than recipes, they are manuals for creating an organized and economically managed home – hallelujah!! But, do I need to know that lipstick mixed with a little hand lotion makes a great rouge or how to make thread spool-holder out of a foam wig stand?

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll brush my tongue. Grandma’s book says it will help keep my breath fresh. Baby steps!

2 comments:

  1. Grandma is right. In the last year I have been forced to get...*looking all around before whispering to you*....dentures, and I wondered where I would get that minty clean fresh taste in my mouth, since I no longer have teeth to brush. Brushing my gums and tongue is great!

    I am also no good at making and keeping resolutions. In 2010, on December 30, my COPD crashed on me, putting me in the hospital. I lay there New Year's Eve watching fireworks out my window (I've had better New Year's Eves) I thought that quitting smoking would be a good resolution, especially since I was going to have to, and was already 2 days along the road. 26 days now. I'll be hooked to an oxygen tank the rest of my life, but I'm still alive and not smoking.

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  2. This list? It is mine own list.

    I hate excercise though. Especially the organized kinds or the ones that hurt.I am simply resolved to move more purposefully, with better posture and add a curl or two to my days.

    I am certain that when (please, please let when be soon) my house feels more organized the books will write themselves and my interior spaces, so crowded with recrimination & worry, fret & fear, will miraculously mirror the outer spaces and, then, THEN I will surely become a perfect person.

    Those recipe books? Treasures.

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