tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post617847194688524410..comments2023-05-20T00:44:47.175-07:00Comments on Bad Grandma: Injustice Is Another Word For This Sucks And I'm AngryHer Bad Motherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-69503030804178279442009-09-15T14:12:21.182-07:002009-09-15T14:12:21.182-07:00My son was born with Down Syndrome when I was 17 y...My son was born with Down Syndrome when I was 17 years old. His dad split, of course. We didn't even know where he was for many years. Life was hard. Of course for a time I was angry, and I was bitter, and I wanted to shove his balls down his throat. Who wouldn't?<br /><br />The years kept coming and going and somewhere along the line the anger faded. I couldn't pinpoint when exactly, but I gradually began to realize that what I feel for my son's father now is the most profound pity you could ever fathom. This man missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. He missed out on watching the greatest kid who ever walked the earth (ok I'm a little biased) grow up. He missed out on so many incredibly awesome things, he missed out on a billion mundane things, and he missed out on crappy things; whatever. The bottom line is that he missed out. I got to be there for every glorious (or not so glorious) minute and he missed out. He will never regain what he missed and he will never know the joy that I've known. What a tremendous loss for him. He may not even realize it, but that's not the point. I know it, and that's enough for me. <br /><br />It feels good for the anger to be gone; I feel lighter and free. I suspect that it probably couldn't continue to exist and thrive in the environment of love and joy created by my special guy. <br /><br />Sometimes there is peace and strength to be found in knowing you've done the right thing, knowing you've done your best, and knowing that you have a special bond with one of the greatest kids in the world that nothing can ever tarnish. Anyone who misses out on that is to be pitied.<br /><br />So, you know, food for thought from a totally random internet stranger that stumbled across your blog in an odd series of circumstances...<br /><br />I don't mean any disrespect. We are all entitled to feel the emotions we feel and I don't mean to tell you how to feel, I just thought I'd share my story in case it helps any.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-11289924847899712952009-07-10T16:32:24.816-07:002009-07-10T16:32:24.816-07:00I have read your daughter's blog for months an...I have read your daughter's blog for months and I've glanced at yours for nearly as long. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for demonstrating that grandmothers are more than just that woman who bakes you cookies or who babysits. She is also one who will fight for you. For no other reason than she loves you.<br /><br />Thank you.Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11222710883489615177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-26517726200577700662009-07-08T10:15:10.367-07:002009-07-08T10:15:10.367-07:00I just came across your daughter's blog and ca...I just came across your daughter's blog and came to this post. Broke my heart. I want to give you all a bug huge hug. And stuff his balls down his throat. Makes me sick. You are an awesome mother/grandmother. They are lucky to have you. My thoughts are with you all.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08418369844847739301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-67567880119276393282009-06-23T08:20:17.834-07:002009-06-23T08:20:17.834-07:00if we were in canada, we would totally be tanners ...if we were in canada, we would totally be tanners friends, and i'd stuff my kids in little wheelchairs and we would have wheelchair races and have all the fun in the world. <br /><br />i also am a hater of injustices, and of prick fathers who equate child support with "renting" the child and "getting their money's worth", and i think even if you did corner him and shove his own dismembered balls in his mouth, it wouldn't be as damaging to him as being lonely and childless(hopefully many)years from now when he can't face himself because he allowed his child to suffer more heartache than handicap could dish out,having been rejected by his own father. when tanner is skipping rocks by the river and playing soccer in a much happier place, where children don't get sick and know sadness and suffering beyond their years, i hope the weight of the shame is like a boulder on his empty chest. and i'm sorry you have to be a helpless witness to the injustice of hard life on your children and grandchildren.litanyofbritthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15680156235556309762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-43608968303784096562009-06-23T08:18:22.542-07:002009-06-23T08:18:22.542-07:00Damn. I am just so sorry. If I could do one thing ...Damn. I am just so sorry. If I could do one thing it would be this, you don't ever have to apologize for calling a jack ass a jack ass. Wish I could do more.Amandahttp://lifewithbriar.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-78415444070840153822009-06-15T08:19:13.331-07:002009-06-15T08:19:13.331-07:00Oh! I can't tell you how much I'm thinking...Oh! I can't tell you how much I'm thinking of all of you. You're right: it's NOT right. None of it is right. But what strength you're showing the little ones. Amazing strength. Even if it doesn't feel like it.Jennhttp://www.breedemandweep.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-78088842582426766252009-06-10T04:08:45.812-07:002009-06-10T04:08:45.812-07:00My heart gave that familiar ache as I read your st...My heart gave that familiar ache as I read your story, the ache I know is the one we get when our kids and our grandchildren are hurting and we wish it was us instead, we wish we could help with impossible, we wish we could throw something at someone to fix it.. I love your fierceness in your love, you desperate longing to HELP somehow. And if you are a "bad grandma" then I guess I am too!! I"ll proudly join your club!!<br /><br />PS if this doesn't make total sense I did finally take a sleeping pill after a four hour marathon talk with my son ( husband and daddy to one with one in the oven) and those are darned special...but exhaustingly.<br /><br />I just "met" you today but I like you a lot! Lets have coffee and brownies ( screw that stupid diet!<br /><br />LindaLindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10918675024879493050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-84484332979299459522009-06-09T09:48:38.780-07:002009-06-09T09:48:38.780-07:00My heart breaks for you, for your daughters, for y...My heart breaks for you, for your daughters, for your grandkids, when I read about Tanner. I feel glad that he has such an amazing family that loves him so much, but at the same time I cannot possibly imagine the pain you are feeling for your daughter and grandson. (Hugs)Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00318376427752604367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-65706677145359035412009-06-08T08:31:56.124-07:002009-06-08T08:31:56.124-07:00i am so sorry for your daughter. what a heart wren...i am so sorry for your daughter. what a heart wrenching ordeal for your family to go through. your ex son in law is a shite! shame on him for leaving it all up to your daughter.he sucks!LAVANDULAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-53047668275128648862009-06-08T08:05:54.541-07:002009-06-08T08:05:54.541-07:00The father should have his balls removed...plain a...The father should have his balls removed...plain and simple. The fact that Chrissy is doing this all on her own, well, she's my idol and I think she's amazing. As for Tanner having no friends, it breaks my heart. Sometimes, I really hate people.<br /><br />Praying very hard for your family right now...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-78914909198754668302009-06-07T23:03:42.375-07:002009-06-07T23:03:42.375-07:00I wish you and your family much strength on your j...I wish you and your family much strength on your journey. I only hope to be an aware person the rest of my life.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14586323120994967027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-82714707487693944622009-06-07T17:31:15.622-07:002009-06-07T17:31:15.622-07:00Years ago, I was an aide to a quadraplegic man. I ...Years ago, I was an aide to a quadraplegic man. I have always been a compassionate person -- or so I thought. When I began to try and take him out, to do simple things together like go to lunch in a public restaurant...well, my eyes were opened to the shortcomings of our fellows (read: how cruel we can be).<br /><br />I will force myself not say I am sorry for you-- pity does not help here. I am in awe of your strength and power as a mother, grandmother and woman, and thank God that you and your daughter are the magnificent examples of being human that you are. <br /><br />Tanner is so blessed. <br /><br />I hope that this is the worst day of your future, and that laughter and miracles abound from now on! <br /><br />Many blessings, deep and wide. <br />KimberelyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-74932569113512519902009-06-07T14:59:29.819-07:002009-06-07T14:59:29.819-07:00I am no stranger to deadbeat dads. My children &am...I am no stranger to deadbeat dads. My children & I lived without the help of their father since they where very young. When they where sick he was nowhere to be found, and financially, forget it. I always had to be mom & dad both.<br /><br />Serving this creep up to you on a silver platter would be an honor for me, but it would not take care of the problem at hand. Tanner & your daughter both deserve better than that. <br /><br />The only sensible thing to do is to take him back to court for failure to paying child support when he is suppose to, or whatever else the court ordered him to pay.<br /><br />Be grateful he is no longer a rolemodel for your grandson. A good ass kicking would definately release a lot of tension, and he deserves more than that, but it would not change who he is.<br /><br />I am not your typical grandmother either, but it does not make me bad. You are not bad. Like me, you are unique. You are yourself. You think out of the box. And when you love, you love with all that you are.<br /><br />You are a gift to your family and I will not forget all of you in your time of need.<br /><br />Bless you....The Crazy Blonde Cougarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03148954041782552387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-50868573116977282752009-06-07T14:02:24.370-07:002009-06-07T14:02:24.370-07:00Oh, this really breaks my heart. Let me say, that...Oh, this really breaks my heart. Let me say, that if Tanner was not on the other side of our country, my kids would LOVE tp have play dates with him. The line you wrote about most parents being as cruel as their children really bothered me. I am disheartened to hear this because I think that we should all be teaching our children that everyone is different and deserves our respect. <br /><br />As for the ex husband, sounds like he does need an ass kicking....<br /><br />So sorry for you, your daughter and mostly darling Tanner.Mommato2https://www.blogger.com/profile/13475207169746158064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-88754003022990933162009-06-06T16:58:40.346-07:002009-06-06T16:58:40.346-07:00Thinking of you all and wish that there was more t...Thinking of you all and wish that there was more that could be done. Although I might know some scary people who could give the sperm donor an attitude adjustment. Stay strong and vent as much as you want we WILL listenhabanerogalhttp://wordpress.habanerogal.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-67427650132536591882009-06-06T16:36:41.361-07:002009-06-06T16:36:41.361-07:00Delurking to say: I'll kick your daughter'...Delurking to say: I'll kick your daughter's Ex in the nuts if you kick my daughter's Ex in his nuts....;-) For Real!!! I understand your pain...and my heart breaks for Chrissy and her kids. Some men should never be fathers. I just don't understand how these fathers can do the things they do, knowing the affects it will have on the children. I really just don't get it. Hoping the best for you all.....Gina Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-47214837631567369742009-06-06T16:27:08.660-07:002009-06-06T16:27:08.660-07:00Dang, now you've done it. I will be saying Ha...Dang, now you've done it. I will be saying Hail Marys and Our Fathers for months now, as penance for the swear words and vicious desire to inflict bodily injury on That Man.<br /><br />I'm so sorry, Grandma. Prayers are being said as I write this. Please know your whole family has the blogosphere's love and support.The Other Ellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-32850203710484494742009-06-06T13:51:12.027-07:002009-06-06T13:51:12.027-07:00{{hugs}} Her Bad Gramma. {{hugs}} Chrissy.
The...{{hugs}} Her Bad Gramma. {{hugs}} Chrissy. <br /><br />There are no words to be written that can make this any easier for any of you - but my prayers are honest.TSintheChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01921083603967329926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-17274074031924600362009-06-06T11:32:21.983-07:002009-06-06T11:32:21.983-07:00How can he be so callous? It is wonderful to hear...How can he be so callous? It is wonderful to hear you rant and rave here on behalf of your daughter... Her situation is definitely overwhelming for anyone.susiejhttp://www.susiej.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-76166189512189653912009-06-06T06:48:17.371-07:002009-06-06T06:48:17.371-07:00There is a place on Danforth Rd. and Birchmount ca...There is a place on Danforth Rd. and Birchmount called Varity Village. It's a huge gym for kids and adults of all abilities. They have lots of programs and support groups that could help Tanner and his mother. Tanner would meet kids his own age with MD and learn to be a confident happy challenged human being. I believe it is a little expensive challenged children get a huge discount. It's well worth the money!!!<br /><br />I'm a single mother with a dead beat father as well. I'm happier without him around, I don't have to worry about looking after him as well. Less dishes, laundry, and picking up after him. Life is so much easier.;)happytobesinglemothernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-39512864288909588102009-06-05T21:42:05.442-07:002009-06-05T21:42:05.442-07:00This is such sadness, such injustice. Best wishes...This is such sadness, such injustice. Best wishes to you and to your family. I wish there were something wiser that I could say.The Queen of Hyperbolehttp://www.queenhyperbole.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-75635046308845780872009-06-05T18:39:36.475-07:002009-06-05T18:39:36.475-07:00I'm so sad for you and your family. I came he...I'm so sad for you and your family. I came here from Her Bad Mother, where I've read about Tanner's illness for the past few months. Wishing you all the best.feefifotohttp://blog.feefifoto.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-39438650942416003422009-06-05T17:50:42.496-07:002009-06-05T17:50:42.496-07:00My heart goes out to you and your family. As a mo...My heart goes out to you and your family. As a mother, and one that has had significant experience with special olympics, I am teaching my children empathy and acceptance of those that are disabled. I only wish other parents were the same. I also wish so many parents choose to walk away as if it is an option. Chrissy needs support. She deserves it. Tanner, Zachary, and Sophie deserve it. It is too much for one to handle. I hope she feels the arms of support of those following this story around her. And I hope that you find comfort as well.Corina - Down to Earth Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10575054747704794655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-71101479952313002922009-06-05T17:36:51.078-07:002009-06-05T17:36:51.078-07:00I see where Catherine gets her spirit. I'm sur...I see where Catherine gets her spirit. I'm sure it glows through to your wonderful grandchildren. Tanner is lucky to have that spirit in him.Sugar Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14350485179045324078noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7728549324347042275.post-64371947464707587652009-06-05T16:21:51.427-07:002009-06-05T16:21:51.427-07:00"Useless as tits on a bull" is the sayin..."Useless as tits on a bull" is the saying here in New Zealand.<br /><br />My heart goes out to you all.merinzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01950053039147788819noreply@blogger.com